Already

 I sat on a bench and I can’t go away. And there is a lot of life outside of me; sounds, kids, people, animals.. and the sun is going to set. And I can’t move, I am not able to catch that life. And I’m so scared, frightened. Terrified. I don’t see even my monsters. I am not able to catch that life and this is destroying me. I’m feeling like i’m waiting for something or someone that wake  me up. And I know that I can’t reach something outside, I have only to reach in me. But all seems so.. stupid. And grey. I think I’m depressed. I see everybody swimming when I’m drowning. And I try to act normally but it’s painful. And dark. 

Sun tries to kiss me and get off the tears on my face. But I’m like an ice cream, with undefined flavour. And I don’t how can I ll go through the pain and find the real me. 

We are waiting for a battle that in reality we are already fighting.